Conflict of interests
by Soulreciever
Summary: He'd just wanted to visit Subaru in the hopsital...to forget everything other than the fact that the Onmyoji had narrowly escaped death...yet it seems fate has other ideas. Slash. AU.
1. Divide

Conflict of interests.

1. divide. 

T: Inspired by the intriguing concept behind Tabula Rasa (please go and read it BTW as it's amazing…link can be found in my bio!) and perverted until I had a plot that seemed complex enough for me to get a few decent chapters out of it! Beware the SEVER AU, SPOILERS for X16, the ANGST and, of course, the SLASH. I do not own X except for in the wonderful, slightly cracked, depths of my imagination!

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He smoothed his hair back from his face for what seemed like the tenth time and glanced up at the lights just above his head.

One more floor and he'd finally be able to escape the crowed confines of the elevator, could finally be selfish for an hour or so.

He had had a want to come here yesterday, but what with school and the crumbling of the Kekkai over the Yanamoto line…

He'd felt guilty for lying to the other Dragon's about his reasons for skipping school today, an emotion that he'd pushed deep into his heart the moment he'd stepped into the hospital.

Today was, after all, about seeing Subaru and assuring himself of the other man's vitality.

The elevator doors slide open and, breathing a little sigh of relief, he steps out into the 'spaciousness' of a hospital corridor.

His bad mood dissolves with each step he takes away from the lift and he is all but smiling when he senses a familiar power but feet from him.

Instantly his content fades and, gearing himself up for a fight, he follows the aura to its source.

The man at the rout of the power is laid out in a hospital bed, his one remaining eye focused intently upon his doctor and his mouth pressed into a tight line of discontent.

There is something off about the presence of that expression on the other's face, in the general manner in which he is holding himself and yet Kamui's youthful impatience means that he does not dwell on these things, that he simply steps into the other's room and enquires,

"Why the hell are you here?"

The man looks at him for a long moment and then enquires, "Do you know me?" The manner in which he phrases the question staunching a little of his anger and thus causing him to reply,

"How could I forget someone like you?"

The doctor takes a gentle hold of his arm then and, ushering him back out into the corridor, he enquires,

"Are you a relative of the patient?"

"No, I'm an _associate_."

"I see. Would you know how I might contact his family?"

"I'm afraid not. What is going on, doctor?"

"Your _associate_ was on a train upon the Yanamoto line when the quake struck.

"Luckily he was far back enough in the carriage that he was not instantly crushed, a fate that met many of his fellow passengers; he was, however, thrown forward into the wall of the car.

"The fractures in his ribs were severe enough to require tapping and there's a gash in his left thigh that had us very worried for a while.

"In the end it is the blow he received to his head that has caused him the most harm.

"The blow was hard enough to damage parts of his brain and to cause him to loose a significant portion of his long term memories."

"I see."

"Might you be able to give me a little more information about him? Perhaps once I have a name I'll be able to trace his family."

"Why is it so important for you to find his relatives?"

"He needs to be around familiar faces and in familiar situation. Also, though it will sound callous, his hospital fees will need to be paid."

"His name is Sakurazuka Seishiro, both his mother and father are long since dead, however, as I am sure you shall soon discover, he is more than capable of paying his hospital fees himself." He attempts, then, to carry on his way, this retreat halted as the doctor steps into his path.

"There must be someone other than yourself who knows him, someone who is willing to aid him in the recovery of his memories."

An image of Subaru flashes, momentarily, in his mind and his heart ceases

No matter how happy the other might be, no matter what such a change could mean for the others future, Kamui knew he would be unable to impart this news to the other.

There was a chance, after all, that this was little more than an illusion set out in order to pull the Sumeragi further into the Sakurazuka's influence.

He also wished, selfishly, to keep Subaru to himself as much as he possibly could.

Thus, forcing a smile to his lips, he informs the doctor,

"I shall help him."

……………………………………………………………………….

He had woken to the numbed awareness that means he has been drugged.

A panic rises in his stomach at that thought and yet he does not know why…

Does not understand why he feels as though something is missing.

"How are you feeling?"

The voice comes a little from his left and turning his head he is met with the white coat and genial smile of a doctor,

"Where am I?"

"Shinjuku General."

"I see." He is about to ask why he is here when a faint image enters his mind…

_There is the smell of stale body sweat all about him and the incessant pouncing of the base through the headphones of the teenager to his left becomes an annoyance._

_One more stop, however, and he can be free of the smell and the noise._

_One more stop._

_The ground shifts hard beneath his feet and, as the screams begin, he thinks, 'this is not right,' before his world goes black._

"I was caught in an earthquake?"

"That is correct." The doctor makes a note in his chart and then he enquires, "Can you tell me anything else about yourself? Your name, perhaps, or maybe what you do for a living?"

"My name…" He is shocked to find that he can not recall this simple, yet inexorably important, piece of information…that he recalls nothing of his life other than that single moment upon the subway.

"Do not press for the information."

"What is wrong with me, doctor?"

"You received a heavy blow to the head and your brain has been damaged…"

"Enough that I am suffering now from amnesia?"

"I fear so."

"What do you recommend?"

The doctor gives him a stock answer and, his 'nice guy' smile still attached to his lips, he remarks,

"Get some sleep, perhaps tomorrow you'll have recalled a little more."

When he awakes the next day he still recalls only the moment on the train and he is listening to the doctor assure him that there is nothing to be, as yet, concerned about, when a harsh voice enquires,

"Why the hell are you here?" Turning he is met with the face of a handsome young boy who feels strangely familiar to him,

"Do you know me?" The boy looks a little unsettled by the question and, his eyes tightening, he responds,

"How could I forget someone like you?"

The doctor snatches the boy away then and he takes the moment to assess his reaction to the 'stranger'.

He feels oddly playful when he recalls the boy's face, something that makes little sense when placed together with the other's antagonism towards him.

It was possible that he had teased the child relentlessly and yet such a thing still did not explain the almost murderous intent that had been in the boy's eyes the first he had seen him.

The other is smiling, falsely, when he steps back into the room and, curious, he enquires,

"Why did you come back if you dislike me so?"

"I am all you have." It is not quite a lie and, smiling gently, he enquires,

"Would you mind telling me your name?"

"Shirou Kamui and you are Sakurazuka Seishiro." His heart eases a little at that and, though there is much still to recall, it seems less of a task now that he has again his own identity.

"I am curious as to what I am to you, Shirou-kun. When I think of you my heart is filled with a childish need to play with you and yet you look at me with such hatred…

"Have I, perhaps harmed you in some inexcusable manner?"

Kamui stills and, his smiling mask growing all the tighter, he says,

"I am going to help you as much as I can, Sakurazuka-san, but there is much I do not know of you…"

"Then let us learn together, Shirou-kun."

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T: Let the games begin! I apologise for the fact that it's more of a prologue than a first chapter, but I had to set the situation up somehow!

Kamui and Tokyo Babylon Subaru are very similar creatures and Sei-chan's want to tease the Shirou is a reflection upon this fact!

R+R please as you're views are always welcome! Next chapter Tuesday at the latest!


	2. Gap

2.Gap.

T: Nothing to specifically say about this chapter so I'll get down to the nitty gritty! Warnings remain the same and I still own nothing here other than the plot!

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He'd regretted the semi promise almost the moment the words had left his lips.

He knew nothing, after all, of the Sakurazuka outside of the little Subaru had told him and even that information had been vague at best.

The pledge had been shocked from him by the Sakurazuka's unexpected show of emotion and, though the words had been foolish, he'd meant them with his whole heart.

Thus he would not retract the promise.

There was a way to learn more of the Sakurazuka and, his want to see Subaru stirred by this thought, he excuses himself from the other's side and makes his way to the younger Onmyoji's room.

Subaru had propped himself up again the wall behind him, this position one that he preferred simply for the sake of the 'view' it gave him.

"Good afternoon, Kamui."

"Good afternoon." His heart has swollen simply for being in the presence of the other and, for a single moment, he forgets anything other than that he is in the presence of the man he ahs come to treasure above all others.

"Is everything well, Kamui? There is a distance in your eyes today that concerns me." Taking a deep breath he smiles as truly as he is able and replies,

"There is something I had a want to talk to you of, but I am afraid."

"I will not judge you, Kamui."

"It is not fear of your disapproval that stills my tongue, but rather a fear of causing you hurt."

"Do you wish to ask me of Seishiro-san?"

"Feel free to ask me to stop prying, it is just…I care about you, Subaru, and I wish to learn more of your life, of who you were before he tainted you."

"I believe you shall find that that past is less romantic than you believe it, Kamui, however I understand that you wish to help me and thus I shall answer your question."

"You mentioned once that the Sakurazukamori spent a year in your company, would you tell me of that time?"

Subaru's smile waves, momentarily, and then he says,

"I was sixteen when I met him…it was an embarrassing encounter, one Neesan always laughed over and Seishiro constantly teased me about.

"I'd been following my Shikigami through Shinjuku station and, concentrated on the bird, I failed to see the crack in the pavement.

"Inevitably I tumbled and Seishiro-san 'came to my rescue'. After that he became integrated, piece by piece, into my life and each day I learned something of interest about him.

"As a very young child I had found that animals had better understood and better aided me with the hurt my powers caused me.

"Out of that bond grew a want to help the animals in return and so it was of the oddest of thrills to learn that Seishiro-san was a vet.

"I'd spent my every spare moment at his surgery, learning all that I could of the various manners to treat animals and forming a lives goal." His smile tenses then, the thing becoming bitter, before he remarks, "Both my want to help animals and the goal I had set myself have long since faded away, their naivety tainted, as with everything else, by the conclusion of the 'Year'."

"I knew that I should not have asked."

"No, I truly am glad for your curiosity, Kamui…"

"But?"

"This is not a place where memories of the 'Year' sit comfortably with me."

He wishes to ask what Subaru means by those words, means to ask why the other's hand has lifted, fractionally, to brush at the bandage about his eye.

The words are, however, stifled by the arrival of Subaru's doctor and, after listening a while to the woman's gentle assessment, he says,

"I'll let you get some rest, Subaru."

"Try and get some yourself, Kamui."

……………………………………………………………………………

He returns to campus in order to assure the other Seals of his vitality and also so that he might apologise again for skipping school.

Soratta is, as expected, the most vocal in his disapproval and it takes a good half hour before Kamui can inform him,

"As it is Sunday tomorrow I am going to go back to the hospital for a little while longer."

"Didn't you day that Sumeragi-san was getting a little rest?"

"I'm just going to go and sit quietly in his room, to think things through a little." He had practiced the lie on the way back to the mansion, perfecting his inflection until it sounded as the complete truth, thus it little surprises him when Soratta replies,

"I suppose that it is useless to argue, isn't it? Will you come and let me know when you're back home this evening?"

"Certainly."

The Sakurazuka is looking a littler paler than when last Kamui had seen him and, concerned despite himself, he enquires,

"Is everything all right?"

"I had a rather vivid nightmare while you were absent, Shirou-kun, but other than that everything is as it was when you left." The other smiles then and, a playfulness coming to his voice, he enquires, "Did you enjoy visiting your friend?"

He can not quite staunch the blush that flames onto his cheeks, the embarrassment little aided by the Sakurazuka's heartfelt laughter,

"It was clear, both by your words and your mannerisms, that you had not come here to see me…"

"So you thought to tease me?"

"I was not aware that the question would insight such a reaction from you, Shirou-kun and thus, though it was amusing to witness your embarrassment, I will apologise for laughing."

"Then I accept your apology." He remarks before informing the other, "I did come here to visit someone else, he has recently lost his eye and his doctor has been rather concerned for his welfare, thus you shall have to forgive me if I seemed a little distracted earlier."

"It is clear to me that you care very much for this other, Shirou-kun and thus your 'lack of focus' is forgivable." He pauses, momentarily, then he enquires, "Would the loss of my own eye be a fresh event also?"

"No."

"I thought that that would prove to be the case, the doctor did not, after all, mention the injury to me specifically and I have found little issue with depth perception."

"Yet you do not recall how you lost it?"

"I have the faintest memory of being in this hospital at the time, though the reason for my presence here, as with what actually caused the injury, are still lost to me."

"I see."

Something about the matter is niggling at him and yet, not matter how hard he concentrates it remains elusive.

It is clear that the link between this hospital and the loss of the Sakurazuka's eye is the explanation for Subaru's enigmatic 'parting' words…

Though the identity of that link, as well as why such a thing would so upset Subaru, escape him.

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T: Logically, as Kamui was stressed about other matters at the time, the Shirou is not going to recall everything Subaru told him about the matter of the eye…The penny will, at some point, drop and then he'll most likely angst! I believe that's the one huge niggle for this chapter, however, if you see something else let me know and I'll do my best to explain it! R+R


	3. Void

3. Void.

T: Firstly I would like to apologise for the rather large update gap, I fear work ate my time this week! That done let us go to the disclaimer and warnings shall we? All warnings remain, for the moment, as they were in chapter one and I fear that I still only own the plot!

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The doctor releases Seishiro a week after first being admitted, a stern set of guidelines rolling off of his tongue and a guilty relief clear in his eyes.

It was time that Kamui had used in order to inform Noruko of his discovery and of the promise he had made to the Sakurazuka.

The Imonoyama had remained his normal lucid self after hearing this truth, something that had been of a great relief and just slightly surprising.

"It is clear that Sakurazuka-san is no longer as he was, Kamui, that free of the memory of his past he is something other than our enemy." The Imonoyama smile peters out then and he says, "Also I have a want to know why Sakurazuka-san was caught in the earthquake."

"You believe the quake was caused in order to hurt him, don't you?"

"It is the only thing that makes sense to me."

"Fuuma…the 'Dark Kamui' can see the wishes that we keep close to our hearts, perhaps it was for the sake of such a wish that he 'allowed' Sakurazuka-san to be injured."

"It is a possibility, yet the only way we can know for certain is if Sakurazuka-san recalls a little more of himself."

"Something that holds the greatest of risks, for if Sakurazuka-san recalls the emotionless nature of the Sakurazukamori…"

"Yet you will aid him none the less, will you not?"

"I am the only hope he has, Imonoyama-san."

"What of Sumeragi-san?"

"I have not yet told Subaru of the situation, for I have no want for him to be hurt should things go wrong and also…"

"You wish to keep him to yourself for a little longer?"

His skin had flushed then and the Imonoyama had laughed a little at his embarrassment before dismissing him with the parting advice of, "use thing time with Sakurazuka-san to gather you thoughts, Kamui-kun and to learn a little more of who _you_ have become."

"Shirou-kun?" The Sakurazuka's voice snaps him back to the present and, feeling a little guilty, he remarks,

"I'm sorry, Sakurazuka-san, my mind ran rather away with me."

"I understand, Shirou-kun." The other responds, then, a curiosity clear in his eyes, he enquires, "Where are we going then?"

"You once happened to mention to me that you worked for a while as a vet. After a little searching I found your old practice and I thought that you would like to see it."

"As you've not called a taxi I suppose that it is safe to assume that it is close by?"

"It's about a three minute walk."

There is a moment of silence as the Sakurazuka takes in the area about them and then he says,

"I've not been back to this area in a long while, have I?"

"Why do you say that?"

"There's a nostalgic feeling in my heart at the moment."

"You had moved elsewhere by the time I met you, though you never told me where."

"Was I private person then?"

"Not in every aspect, no."

"I do not understand."

"You were very open about your want to be always amused and about the slight possessiveness in your nature.

"The other emotions in your heart, as well as personal information, were locked tight against your heart."

"I shall attempt to abstain from such behaviour this time, Shirou-kun."

He wishes to ask the Sakurazuka why he is making such a statement, but as they have all but reached their destination, he decides to leave the question for a later date.

The surgery has clearly not been used for many years, the boards in the windows as well as the general state of disrepair that the building is in, as testament to this fact.

"It is not much to look at, is it?"

"Do you recall anything by looking at it?"

"Is it possible for us to go inside? I think that seeing the layout of the place might help."

"I managed to get a key for the building and so yes, we are free to go in."

The inside of the building is in a slightly better state than the outside, only the thick layer of dust on the floor and the lack of natural light, as a show of the longevity of the spaces 'vacant' state.

"It is so quite."

"What did you expect?"

"I know that it was an odd statement to make, yet that is genuinely how I feel. This building…this place…it should be full of the sound of animals and of laughter."

"Laughter?"

"That is also odd, isn't it? Clients of a veterinary surgery are always worried in some manner or another, after all. Yet I can hear laughter in my head…bawdy, feminine, laughter…" The Sakurazuka falls silent a moment and then he enquires,

"Would you know if I lived here while I used it for my practice?"

"You never mentioned it, but as there is a small apartment upstairs I'm sure that it is safe to assume that was the case. Why do you ask?"

"I have a wistful homely feeling looking at this place, one that makes a little more sense if I had lived, as well as worked, here."

"I see."

There is another long moment of silence and then the Sakurazuka says,

"I have two unrelated things to ask you if you will allow me."

"Of course."

"Is it possible for me to stay here and why did I think the earthquake that stole my memory was 'wrong'?"

"To the first, I assumed that you'd want to stay here and so I've already secured you the lease. As to the second…

"There have been a rather large amount of earthquakes recently, more than can be explained by science and thus that is probably why the Yanamoto quake seemed 'odd' to you."

He knows that the Sakurazuka wishes to press him on this regard, knows that this would be a perfect opportunity to see how much of the quake the other recalls, yet the elder man must have seen some form of hesitance in his face, for he enquires,

"How much of Tokyo has been affected?"

"Many chose to move away form the city after the Sunshine 60 collapsed…" The Sakurazuka has paled just slightly and, curious, he enquires, "What is wrong?"

"I remember seeing the building toppling…there were people on the roof at the time…"

He little likes the idea that the Sakurazukamori had stood idle as the 'other Kamui' had harmed Subaru, little likes the fear clear now in the elder man's eyes and, forcing a smile to his lips, he remarks,

"There was nothing you could have done to help them, Sakurazuka-san, the quake struck so very swiftly…"

"I suppose that is true enough and yet in recalling that image I do not recall feeing guilty…rather I recall feeling so very angry."

"I've got to go." He remarks, desperate to turn the conversation from its current path.

"Will you have a chance to come and see me tomorrow or are you still at school?"

"I'm still at school, but I am sure that I could spare a few moments in the evening to see you."

"No, no, that is all right, you can visit me again next week and that way you can keep your focus on your school work during the week."

"Yet what if you recall something that you have want to talk to me of?"

"Then we may discuss it when you come to visit."

"I shall see you next Sunday then."

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T: No real niggles this time as far as I'm concerned, though if you see something please let me know and I'll alter/explain it! Next chapter up late mon, till then R+R.


	4. Break

4. Break.

T: As promised here is the next chapter…semi cliff hanger for this one, though this is the only change warning wise! Everything within: these : is spoken by the Tree.I still own only the plot, a fact that continues to depress me! Oh and for an edge of black humour hum 'getting to know you' while reading this chapter.

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He quickly falls into the pattern of visiting the Sakurazuka on a Sunday, the excuse of 'helping Imonoyama-san out' enough to sate Soratta's worries.

Usually he'd spend the time helping the other in renovating the surgery and also in understanding some of his more oblique recollections.

The childlike naivety of the other often grated hard against his almost boundless knowledge and sharp perceptive ability, something that Kamui had initially found wearing and that had, over the weeks, become one of the other's most appealing aspects.

He would, occasionally, catch a glimpse of the man he had believed t e other to be, this shadow as a constant reminder of the risk contained in the task he had chosen to undertake.

More often than not, however, he had little reason to regret the promise that had tied him to the Sakurazuka and to the task of restoring his memories.

Today they are hard at the task of decorating the surgery's living quarters and already small traces of paint have found their way into his hair and onto his clothing.

Seishiro had paused to double check his progress but, judging by the distance in his eyes, he has been caught into some recollection or another.

"Seishiro-san, is everything alright?"

"I have just recalled the warmth of my father's touch, the deep rumble of his laughter and the note in his voice that meant that he was truly vexed."

"Why do you look so concerned? I would have thought that that would be a happy thing to remember."

"As it should be and yet..." He falls silent a moment and then enquires, "Did my mother pass away just a little after I was born?"

"I believe so, yes." He is a little surprised by how easily the lie is to tell and, for the briefest of instants; he can not help but wonder _why_ he has bothered with such a fabrication.

The logic of the thing hits him swiftly enough; bereft of his memories Seishiro has become Kamui's one contact to a world beyond the hurt and the pressures of the war…

…has become the one piece of calm in an otherwise chaotic existence.

"While we are discussing such things there is something I've wished to talk to you about for a while."

"Yes?"

"In the last few weeks I have experienced the same nightmare, its vivid nature, as well as the certain things contained within it, leading me to believe that it is actually a memory.

"There is such violence to the images, however, and I can not quite believe that they are a recollection of my own actions…"

"Nor are they." This lies, as with the other, is a simple thing and born of the same desperate desire to keep things as they are now…

…to staunch the progression of the Sakurazuka's more dangerous memories.

"You kept poor company for a little while and you are most likely recalling something that that person did."

"Then I have never hurt anyone…have never actively sought to injure you specifically?"

"No."

"Then your previously cold manner…"

"You had been pushing me away before the accident, using your words as a block between us.

"I knew that that was because I had pried too deeply into things you'd wished to keep private and yet…"

"I should not have been so swift to turn from your aid, Kamui."

"Let us leave the matter in the past where it belongs, shall we?"

"In other words we should treat my amnesia as a 'second chance'?"

"That is it precisely."

………………………………………………………………………

He has just heard the click of the surgery door closing when a warm hand catches onto his wrist and a familiar voice remarks,

"It seems we need to talk."

He is pulled, bodily, into a secluded ally and then pressed hard into the wall behind him.

"I would advise you to let your little project go before you get hurt."

"Why the _hell_ should you care?" He enquires as he breaks free of his captors 'embrace'.

"Have I not said before that I shall be the one to kill you?"

"Seishiro-san would not hurt me."

"Not as he is now, no and yet should he recall his true nature…There is also another 'player' who you have neglected to consider and who would not hesitate to harm you should you continue on your course."

There is a brief moment where he can not quite comprehend who his 'other self' is talking of and then he comes to a terrible realisation,

"You mean the Tree, do you not?"

"You are taking Its 'master' away, 'killing' him in a sense and It will eventually wish for some form of compensation."

"You fear that It shall force me to take his place, that I shall, at last, hold a power that you do not."

"I fear nothing while you see me still as 'Fuuma', for no matter what power you hold you would be unable to harm one you think of as family." He is filled with an irrepressible sense of helplessness at those words and, wishing to distract himself, he enquires,

"Why did you strike the Yanamoto Kekkai while Seishiro-san was still within its confines? What purpose does his amnesia serve?"

"The Sakurazukamori has always held a faint wish to forget his past, to build his life again without the scars that his childhood left him with.

"It was a foolish want and one I have, until late, chosen to ignore."

"What changed your mind?"

"You do not need to know the answer to that question."

"Yet I wish to hear it…wish, desperately, to be of true help to Seishiro-san."

"The strength of Sakurazuka-san's want, the strength also of the dying wish of Sumeragi-san's sister and the spell tied to that wish, far outweigh the strength of your own desire.

"Thus, in this matter at least, you shall have to remain ignorant." The other smiles then, the thing full of a familiar dark amusement, and says, "I have somewhere else I must be, Kamui and so, until next time…" He catches a hold of his shoulder and, that smile still on his face; he throws him against the wall.

…………………………………………………………………………….

This dream is not quite a dream, the sharp clarity of the images about him, as well as the sudden swell of emotions in his heart, as testament to this fact.

_He is stood, ankle deep, in a layer of snow._

_There is a sickly sweet smell in the air that is as both a source of comfort and a source of fear._

_A voice is talking to him of duty, of fate and of power, something that is a little unsettling when he realises that he is alone._

The 'dream' cuts out then and yet the voice continues still, its power and its manner more than they had been previously.

: You will remember me…shall remember _who_ you are…you can not escape destiny, after all. :

He starts into waking, sweat pouring down his skin and his heart sped still into panicked staccato.

He had know, simply for the emotion in the boy's eyes, that Kamui had not been completely truthful about the matter of his past.

It was something that intrigued him and that he had thought to quiz the boy over once he was assured that he would gain a truthful answer.

Now…

Now he wished to remain ignorant of the shadows of his past and of the dark destiny that the voice had talked of.

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T: Tree-san likes to make things complex, this shall become very apparent in the next chapter. There was no real point to Fuuma springing Kamui…I was simply in a uke chucking mood! Also Noruko has most likely told Soratta that he has Kamui working in a poor house, or doing some other worthy cause, thus the lack of nagging! I think that's all the niggles (again tell me if you see one!) next chapter late tomorrow, until then R+R


	5. Barrier

5. Barrier.

T: Warnings remain the same and I still own nothing you see here other than the plot.

Mysty: I wished to address your worries…firstly to the names, I've made a note of how you've spelt them and will do as such from now on! As to the formal nature of the language I use, I fear it's a bad habit created while I was doing my English A-level and that I'm having a hard time breaking! I'm attempting to make the conversations as casual as possible but I'm finding it a hard balancing act between making it sound 'natural' and keeping the tension in the words. I'm glad you like the piece despite the niggles and thank you for your constructive criticism!

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The words of his 'other self' have remained with him throughout the week and he has become anguished enough in the interim that he does not take the direct rout to Seishiro's 'house'.

Instead he takes a detour and, his heart in his mouth, he crosses into Ueno Park.

He feels the unsettled aura of the Tree almost the moment he steps into the park, the force of Its darkness, as well as Its shear magical strength, as a constant pressure upon his scull.

This discomfort grows the closer that he gets to the thing and, by the time It is within his line of sight, he is all but screaming for the agony of the pain.

: So you are the one who would rob me of my 'master'…you are less than I believed you might be… : This voice, as with that of the Princess's, fall directly into his mind, however, this voice is not one of kindness or comfort, but rather one of selfishness and emptiness. : That is because I am not hiding my true nature. :

The statement makes little sense to him, something the Tree finds great amusement in for there is a short echo of laughter before it remarks,

: This is something you shall understand once the time is right, Kamui, until then, however, there are more pertinent things to discuss.

: You are interfering in the natural course of things…in destiny itself…something that is foolish indeed.

: You are, after all, ignorant of what you are toying with and to what your interference will come. :

"You may threaten me all you like, I'm not afraid of you." He remarks, his voice kept low in order that no other might hear him.

: Yet you care about this world, about the many thousands of vapid, selfish and aimless people that live within it.

: That care is your weakness and it also that which I am 'appealing' to. :

"Would you truly destroy this city simply to prove a point?"

: _I_ would do nothing; my influence does not extent deep enough for me to directly influence the fate of this city.

: However, my essence is tied into the magical balance and, should it be removed, the city would loose what stability it has left. :

"Yet it is not right that he should do something that he has no wish to."

: Then let us form an agreement, shall we::

"What are your terms?"

: Bring Seishiro-sama here, if he recognises me and expresses a want to claim my power, then you must accept that choice and let him be.

: Should he express fear or distrust once he sees me again then I shall accept that he has no more want to be Sakurazukamori and let him go.

: However, the void left by his departure would have to be filled and, as I shall have 'lost' him through your interference, _you_ would be the prime candidate for the role. :

The 'agreement' falls heavily in the favour of the Tree and thus fails to sit comfortably with him.

However, it is painfully clear that this shall be the only way to assure that Seishiro is truly given a 'fresh start'.

Thus for the sake of his tentative friendship with the other, for the sake of the Sakurazuka's happiness, he says,

"I agree."

: Go and get him then, neither of us have a want to draw this out, after all. :

It is but the work of moments to tempt the Sakurazuka out to the park, the older man's smile tensing a little as he steps into the area.

"Is something the matter?"

"The sweet smell in the air, what is it?"

"Sakura blossoms, why?"

"Last night I had an odd nightmare that featured this smell quite predominantly."

"'Odd' how?"

"To begin with it seem as another of my memory induced 'nightmares', for this smell, as well as the chill of the snow beneath me, seemed to very real.

"Yet then a voice began to speak to me even though I was alone…even when the 'nightmare' ended that voice continued to talk, though it sounded truer now, as though it was actually talking to me in that moment."

"You must have imagined the voice; you have not been sleeping well, after all and fatigue is known to cause hallucinations…"

"It makes sense."

"Then why not let the matter go?"

"Why not tell me what this place is?"

"This is Ueno Park and before you grew distant you brought me here often to simply admire the sakura blossoms.

"You told me that you had some fond memories attached to the Park, though you never did tell me what they were."

"I think, perhaps, that might be because I was embarrassed."

"Why do you say that?"

"The 'fond memories' I had of this place were not true ones."

"I do not understand."

"Since 'coming back to myself' I have had a reoccurring 'nightmare', this I have told you once already and I mention it again simply because it is significant.

"You see that 'nightmare' begins always as a simple dream…with me chatting amiably to fey young boy, not unlike yourself, of such simple things.

"The boy and I are sat in this park and it seems to me that this part of the 'nightmare' is actually the 'fond memory' that I talked to you of."

The boy in Seishiro's 'dream' can only be Subaru and, wishing to learn what, if anything, the Sakurazuka recalls of the other, he enquires,

"Would you tell me of the rest of the nightmare?"

"You said before that it was insignificant, that it was simply a remembrance of the violence of others."

"I am sure that that is still the case…"

"That boy is more than a figment of my imagination, isn't he?" Had Kamui been placed in this situation at the very beginning of the matter, he would have, without hesitation, answered that question with a lie.

Now, however, he is torn.

Seishiro senses his reluctance and, a smile gracing his lips, he says,

"You do not have to give me an answer, Kamui-kun."

"I do not know enough of that boy…of what he was to you…to give you a helpful answer, Seishiro-san.

"You see it was for the sake of protecting you 'relationship' with the other that you pushed me away last time."

"I see." The other steps a little from him then, the distance as a clear sign that he wishes a moment to himself.

Eventually he turns, again, to face Kamui, his lips hardened now into a determination that the Shirou recognises well.

"The boy and I talk until nightfall and I am walking him home when suddenly everything turns darker…when the dream turns to a 'nightmare'.

"The pure white suit that the boy had been wearing becomes stained, suddenly, with blood, the mark blooming out from the centre of his chest.

"Panicked I reach for him, my grip strong enough that I hear one of his arms snapping.

"Still I do not relent in my aim to see his face, to assure myself that he is well and, turning him over, I am met with his face and yet it is not him.

"This other smiles despite the pain they must be in and, the smile never leaving their face, they tell me, 'no one in this world is beyond the reach of love. Even if you have sins that can never be made right…you are still allowed to love…'

"That is usually when I wake…occasionally I see the other dying and the boy crying over her body, but that is very rare." The words send a little shiver down Kamui's spine and, recalling Fuuma's other oblique statement, he knows that he must broach the subject of his sister's death with Subaru.

Knows that, to help the Sakurazuka progress, he must expose all of the secrets that have been kept, for so long, between the two Onmyoji.

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T: I love this particular Hokuto quote and, as it fitted nicely into the storyline, I just had to use it! I still get teary each time I read it! The next chapter is the last for the moment…I'm toying with the idea of a sequel so keep you're eyes open! Oh and I'll most likely be updating Sunday!


	6. Distance

Distance. 

T: Alternate version of the chapter as, aparently, the first one got cut off!

…………………………………………………………………………..

Subaru is tidying his bed when he steps into the room, this activity, as well as the determination on his face, as a clear sign that his time in the hospital has come to an end.

"It seems I have timed today's visit perfectly."

"Indeed you have, for now I can have a little company on the journey home."

It takes a few moments to sign the other out, by which point he is hungry enough to enquire,

"Might we take a slight detour? I had hoped to grab a little something to eat while I was visiting you…"

"There is a quiet restraint just a little from here and it is on the way back to my apartment, thus there is no need for a true detour."

"Thank you, Subaru."

They sit a while in silence once their food had been ordered, Kamui fearful still of the extent of the hurt of his new 'goal' and Subaru allowing the younger boy time to gather his thoughts.

Eventually Kamui can stand the hush no longer and, focusing his attention onto his food, he enquires,

"Did you mean what you said in the hospital, that I could ask you anything of your past?"

"I would not have said it if I did not mean it."

"Then I would hear a little more of your sister…of who she was and of what power she held."

"Neesan…neesan was always the more outgoing; she would often dress herself in outlandish things or make loud statements about things others might keep quiet.

"She believed, passionately, in love, in its power to 'make everything right'. She also believed in me…in the kindness and the compassion that were once mine to claim." The other is clearly upset by the topic of conversation and yet, after a moments pause, he continues, "She always had a 'knack' for seeing things you had want to hide or that you were as yet ignorant of.

"Neesan knew of my…care…for Seishiro-san before I did and she was constantly pushing us together in the hopes of making me see that care and that with someone I truly wished to protect in my life, I might begin to care more about my own welfare.

"Apart from that 'knack', however, she was powerless and thus Obaachan paid her only the smallest of courtesies while she lived."

He was assured that the 'other Kamui' had not been playing with him when he had mentioned, 'the final wish of Sumeragi-san's sister and the spell tied to that wish,' and yet Subaru is also being truthful in his assessment of his sister's powers.

He knows that he should mention the confrontation with Fuuma to the Onmyoji and yet…

…yet in doing as such he would have to, at last, expose Seishiro's amnesia to the other.

No matter how close he has grown to the Sakurazuka, or how implicitly he now trusts the other, he does not wish to expose his 'situation' to the Sumeragi…

…not yet, at least.

"Now that you look back on the 'Year', on how the Sakurazukamori acted around you, can you see the faults in his illusion?"

"No, for he went to great pains to hide his true nature from me until the very end."

"I see." He had hoped that Subaru might inform him that there were, indeed, flaws in the Sakurazuka's performance and that, by doing as such, he might lay to rest the niggling fear present still in his heart…

…might assure him, once and for all, that he had not given his faith to the Sakurazuka blindly.

"Kamui, might I ask why you wish to know such a thing? Always before you have asked something that is, at least in part, relevant to myself and yet this…"

"It is relevant to me, Subaru…I had hoped that, by now, you might have been able to let him go a little."

"He has no more hold on me…not that way, at least…for now I can only see the truth of what he is."

"You still care for him, don't you?" Subaru tenses and, aware that he is at last closing on the secrets he wishes to expose, he says, "It is childish of me, Subaru, but I want you only to think of me…wish you to love me as I love you."

"Kamui…"

"I know that it is an impossible wish, that you have tied everything of yourself to him and yet…

"I could not help but want it anyway…could not help but want you to stop perusing him before he killed you."

"I am hopeful for such a conclusion."

It is the last thing he had thought to hear and seeing this surprise Subaru says,

"At the conclusion of the 'Year' he had a chance to kill me, a chance he missed only for the intervention of Obaachan.

"The look he had in his eye as he missed that chance was one of distain, as though I was little more in his regard than an ant.

"That look made me wish to be stronger, to become enough of a nuisance to him that he might kill me and that I might, at the end of my time, be with him again."

He knows then that, as he had suspected from the moment Subaru had lost his eye, that he can never have the Onmyoji in his life to the extent that he yearned for.

He is also, finally, assured of what his next step must be and, finally meeting the other's eyes, he enquires,

"Do you recall the fall of the Yanamoto line two months ago?"

"Has it truly been so long? I wonder why the Angles have not continued to press their advantage."

"The 'Other Kamui' has been keeping himself entertained in another manner."

"Has he approached you, Kamui, harmed you in any manner?"

"No, for once he has found another victim."

"Who?"

"When I came to see you the day after the collapse of that Kekkai, I happened upon an interesting predicament, one that I have been keeping to myself both out of uncertainty and, though I am ashamed to admit it, out of selfishness.

"You see an Angel was caught in the quake that followed the Kekkai's collapse."

"Yet why harm one of their own?"

"Apparently that Angle had a wish to forget his past…to build a better life for himself…a wish that the earthquake granted him."

"Then you have been asking me these things in order to aid in the restoration of that Angel's memories? Because it was Seishiro-san who was 'harmed' in the quake?"

"Yes."

There is a long moment of silence after that and he is painfully aware of the distress on the other's face…distress that he had caused and that he wished, so very desperately, to erase,

"Subaru…"

"Would you take me to see him?" The other enquires, the words cutting across his attempt to alleviate a little of his guilt.

"Are you certain?"

"You would not have told me this thing unless you believed, with your whole heart, in the truth of his condition and thus, as there is little risk attached to simply seeing him…"

"Then if you will follow me."

……………………………………………………………………………….

As they draw within sight of Seishiro's Veterinary surgery he is swept, suddenly, with a wave of bitter sweet nostalgia.

For, if not for the other who walks with him, everything is precisely as it was during the 'Year.

As if sensing the change in his mood Kamui pauses, mid step, and, concern clear in his eyes, he says,

"You do not have to do this."

"No…no it is alright."

It takes a moment for the Shirou to accept the validity of this statement and then, smiling gently, he continues on his path.

He lingers back a little as Kamui knocks on the door, his nerves, as well as his doubt, dousing what little confidence he had had.

"Kamui-kun, what an unexpected surprise." He knows both the voice and the warmth within it well, for this voice, this warmth, had been present always during the 'Year'.

"I wished to introduce you to someone." Kamui remarks as he takes a gentle hold of his wrist and pulls him within arms reach of the other, "Seishiro-san this is…"

"Su…ba…ru…" There is a disbelief clear in the other's voice and, before he is even aware, the Sakurazuka has a hand pressed to his face.

There is a warmth in the other's eyes that had not been there during the 'Year; and that is as proof that, this time, the other is not lying to him.

Smiling brightly he leans forwards and, the others name rolling, lovingly, from his lips, he catches him into a kiss.

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T: Everyone go awwwwww! Kamui confesses in precisely the manner I do, by going off on random tangents and saying everything without saying anything…I'd apologise for this but I like putting my own influence onto him, it makes me feel almost as though he is my character! Note the almost! R+R and I'll hopefully see you tues!


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